Parenting Your Teenager: Watch Out for Change Back Behavior



Here's the scene:

Mom and Dad have decided to lay down the law and actually enforce some of the family rules.

They share this with the kids who moan and groan and protest.

Mom and Dad are shocked and bewildered that the kids are not eager to cooperate with the changes.

Something that will never happen

I know it sounds crazy, but we act like we believe it is a reasonable thing to expect. We lay down the law, and we are stunned when our kids do not say, "Oh thank you Mom and Dad, I've been just waiting and hoping and praying that you would get stricter."

Not gonna happen.

And if it does, get in touch with me right away because something is waaaaaaay wrong.

The cost of changing things

When parents decide to tighten up on a few things, the kids realize that the party may be over. Instead of accepting it, they are going to test you, to see if you really mean it. This is called "change back behavior."

The kids are testing you to see if you really mean it and really simply trying to get you to change back to the old system.

This is why it is so important for parents to make sure that whatever changes they begin, that they are ready to see it through for the long haul.

If you start to change things and then give in to the pressure of the change back behavior from the kids, you have made things worse than if you had done nothing at all.

Making changes is a good thing to do. Just mnake sure you stick to your guns.

By Jeff Herring